MY OTHER SHOE

I checked my watched,  time was moving fast, faster than all other days. I was almost complete to step outside. I was left with 5 minutes to walk through that door to meet the bus. The only thing left was to put on my shoes and I would be done. I had everything ready, my file-bag on my bed, my blue shirt, black tie with a black suit to match. I was ready now than ever. Today was today – so ready.

I bent down to bring out my shoes under my bed, the only shoes I had. It took me a life savings to buy this shoe. Pulled one easily out, the left foot one. Gosh!! where is the right one, I kept asking myself.  In a single room, and where the hell was this other pair. It couldn’t just vanish like that. I started searching, turning over my mattress, pulling and pushing my suitcase, … O God where could this other shoe be? I couldn’t go out without the shoes. I kept searching then the bus  horned, five minutes was up 10 minutes ago. …

Anytime I hear the statement like behind every successful man there is a woman, the questions I asked myself is what about men who ‘failed’? Till present age, philosophers and modern knowledge of man have not come up with a concrete statement like the one above to describe what is “behind” a failed man. For this reason, I will go for a woman to be the ‘backbone’ for my success. I am not alone here, a whole lot of young men know about this factual but not-empirical fact and want to find the one perfect woman God designed for them.

Choosing a life partner is something that I think should be a fully loaded Bachelor’s program at the Universities. It is something that we cannot measure its consuming energy of mankind (whether it is difficult or easy). Nobody goes to the market to buy a pair of shoes with different foot sizes. It should be a perfect size and a perfect match. We spent much time and energy in search for things we need but don’t put much effort to search for a life perfect partner to stay with.

Technically speaking the most well packaged ‘goods’ for us to choose and to have is men and women, packed in all forms, shapes, colour and sizes… but yet still we have difficulties in choices. It is not normal for this to happen because economics say choice only come around with the problem of scarcity. So if we have a problem with choosing a life partner, does that mean that men and women are scarce for each other? Or may be the scarcity here is MORALITY?

The world has put up so many solutions in choosing a life partner, with the term literally meaning someone you are going to stay with for the rest of your life till death do you two apart. They (world) have come up with steps and procedures in choosing  life time partners, 1 way to over 1000 ways to pick the rightful  partner. Yet our world today is recording the highest rate of divorce and we do not see the end of this newly socially ‘acceptable’ norm.

The divorce rate in the 21st century is rising at a speed that if a miracle does not set in to stop the pace of the speed, a time will come we will have like 7 out of 10 marriages collapsing if I am not over exaggerating. For me I will call it scary situation but now it is more of a socially accepted situation.

It makes it more scary when as a Christian I believe divorce is not part of my personality. In Mat. 5: 31-32 Jesus in his teachings said (and I quote) “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ ³² But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery”.

Why then do we find this not only in the society we live in but in the Christian communities as well. Is it because we couldn’t fine our other ‘shoe’ and we put our foot in the wrong pair? Of course your walking will be funny if the size of  your pair of shoe you wear is different. There are books, great books from great experienced writers have been provider as a guide in choosing a life partner. These books are good but we should not forget the source of the knowledge and the best helper to help us choose the right life partner- GOD. 

Through out the bible God has given has and freely shown us the way to happy living not just in relationship or marriage but in everything. We fail to walk on these happy leading paths because of our disobedience. I do not have the experience not even married to tell you the best way out, but I strongly believe if we follow the path that God has made for us, we will have one perfect life partner.

Some few verses I found in the Bible and will love to share with you, ponder over them and let God be you guide.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh” Genesis 2 : 24

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6: 14

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” Proverbs 18:22

“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman” Proverbs 21: 19

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” John 13:34

“What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10 :9

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar…” Proverbs 31: 10 – 31.

“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:39

“As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” 1 Peter 3:6

“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. …” 1 Corinthians 7:1 – 40

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” Ephesians 5:33

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh.” Ephesians 5 : 31.

………………………………………………

There are a whole lots of examples in the Bible God has given to us as guidance to one happy successful marriage, having a life partner, staying happy as husband and wife forever. Through out Genesis to Revelation, there is only one way God see the union of marriage – MAN AND WOMAN. All other forms of union example gay is an advocate of  EVIL.  Through the scriptures choosing a life partner is a choice of two (a man and a woman) people with the will of God.

I am not spelling it out that it is one easy task to go by these steps, especially when as young people our hormones define things differently for us and we are so over it that the person we fall in love with is the one we will be with forever.  I pray it will be like that, but we should humble ourselves before God and let God be our helper, we should trust God than trust ourselves. We should let God be the chooser because He is the only one who knows what is best for us.

So much I will love to say, so much I will love to write, probably I need not write all today but some other day. God help us and bless our marriages, and may His will be fulfilled in our lives.

(c) Derrick Ofori Donkor – 23 January 2013

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